I recently ran across this news article:

Disturbing, I know. Thankfully I never leave the house without my rape whistle. YOUR MOVE, QUAKER.

For those who desire to put sticky things on inanimate objects, The Oatmeal shop is now selling stickers. You can buy an 18 pack of stickers for $6.00, or buy an eye-squishingly marvelous Oatmeal Bumper Sticker for three bucks. There's free shipping, too.

All stickers are printed on high-grade vinyl which can be used both indoors and outside. The paper uses high-gloss ultraviolet coating, and can stand temperatures from -10°F to +200°F, so unless you're planning on traveling into outer space or windsurfing on the surface of the sun, these stickers should stand up to pretty much anything. We also advise against sticking these to fast-moving animals such as cheetahs or caribou.

The Oatmeal Bumper Sticker $3.00 (Free Shipping)

The Oatmeal Sticker Pack (18 stickers) $6.00 (Free Shipping)

I've had a ton of requests to turn the GayRoller 2000 from the comic What it means when you say literally into a poster or t-shirt. Initially I tried making it into a shirt, but the artwork was too complex and had too many colors. All my shirts are screen printed, which means you have a limited number of colors and each color has to be split into a separate layer. The GayRoller looks pretty crappy when split up that way, plus I thought that as a t-shirt the art might seem a bit out of context without the Falwell quote next to it. Therefore, I decided to sell it as a print instead. Each print is 12"x18" (30cm x 45cm) and I'm signing every copy.

The GayRoller 2000

Also, there's been a ton of requests for women's sizing for t-shirts - particularly the Special Ops Bunny. I went ahead and ordered a second set of shirts in women's sizes from the print shop which should be available in a week or so. If you want to get yours now, you can pre-order (just expect 2-3 weeks for delivery).

Today, September 24, is National Punctuation Day. In honor of this excruciatingly boring holiday, I encourage you to go learn how to use a semicolon or an apostrophe. Or go learn what an interrobang is, if only to marvel at its perverse sounding name. HOT INTERROBANG ACTION‽ YES, I THINK SO!

Also, today is coincidentally my 28th birthday. I'm wearing my favorite party hat:

In honor of this excruciatingly magnificent holiday, I urge you to go sucker punch a wild animal such as a muskrat or bison. If you can't find any wild animals, you could always just buy me a beer (the buy a beer link is at the end). I'll happily get wasted and then go beat the living shit out of a horse or bald eagle.

I'd also like to thank all The Oatmeal fans for supporting me and buying shirts this week. Sales have been spectacular and surprisingly all the inventory has been selling equally well. I figured one or two would sell like crazy and then I'd be stuck with a warehouse full of others which I'd end up using to strain pasta or some shit.

Also, expect a new comic out monday before I leave for NYC. I'd launch it today but it's my birthday and I'll be too busy pounding an entire box of Little Debbie Nutty Bars into my face and playing Left4Dead.

I've updated my events page with some upcoming trips I've got planned. I'm flying tomorrow to Dublin for Funconf, and although the conference is only two days I'll be in Ireland for about a week, so if any of my Irish fans want to meet up for coffee and/or booze, feel free to shoot me an email: .

After that I'll be in New York on Thursday, September 30th with Allie Brosh from Hyperbole and a half, and Baratunde Thurston from The Onion.

More trips are on the events page, and I'm also doing my book tour next year which should include a bunch of major cities. I'll put those on there as soon as I know the details.