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The Oatmeal Blog

Retarded Emails Champion Charged with Child Neglect

One of my readers emailed me last night to let me know that Kim Steinhaus, the reigning champion of the Retarded Emails Hall of Fame, has been charged with child neglect and faces up to 9 months in jail. She originally sent me this email after reading 10 words you need to stop misspelling:

Kim Steinhaus - Retarded emails hall of fame champion

From the the article:

The boy said the electricity in the home had been shutoff, there was little food in the house, and what there was was rotting in the refridgerator. When a Sheboygan County Deputy checked the home he found it littered with clothes and junk and rotting food. A deputy returned to the home later Sunday evening to find Steinhaus who said there was plenty of food in the house. When asked where she had been, she said to the home of a friend and that it wasn’t the deputy’s business.

Not so cute and funny now, hey.
Full story here.

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Abandoned Comic: Hamster Atonement

Sometimes I draw comics and never publish them because I don't think they're funny enough. This was one of those comics. Rather than just letting it sit untouched for all eternity in the ~/comics/ folder on my computer, however, I figured I'd stick it on the blog.

Update: Alright what the hell people... I launched this comic expecting a bunch of comments agreeing with me that it lacked the Oatmeal LOLmagics, but the response has been really positive and traffic to it has been blowing up. I sometimes show my comics to my friends before I post them online, so I can get a bit of feedback. The response from my friends was an overall "meh", so I decided not to post this one. Moral of the story: my friends are penis pumps. Looks like I'll be sticking it in /comics after all. :D

Hamster Atonement - by The Oatmeal

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This is how I floss

The Cycle of Flossing

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My Funeral Instructions

Last weekend my family had a BBQ. I told them that when I died I wanted my body to be hurled via trebuchet into an erupting volcano, and I even wrote down specific instructions for my funeral service.

Trebuchet snap kapow!

They told me this was not logistically possible and a hugely inconsiderate thing to do to a grief stricken family.
I called them a bunch of a-holes and soccer-kicked the watermelon off the picnic table and into the bushes.

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I always do this at the movies

Awkwardness at the movies

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Bumblebee farts smell like honey

Just FYI

Just FYI.

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Fallen iPhone

Last week I noticed a ka-thunk ka-thunk noise coming from the washing machine, as well as a bright glowing light coming from inside it (it's a side loader with a glass window). Upon removing my iPhone from the washer, the screen said:
"This device is not iPhone compatible. We recommend turning on airplane mode to reduce interference."
No joke.

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