Contact The Oatmeal

• Order related inquiries

  For questions about your order, including anything shipping or billing related, please email . We only do email support at this time.
  
  Hours of operation: Monday-Friday 8am - 6pm PT.
  Shipping Times: We strive to fulfill the orders within 3-5 working days. When we are really busy we may take a day or two longer. We ship orders Monday - Friday, so if your order is placed Friday evening we may not be able to process it until the following Monday. If we are behind, it may be a few days before we respond. The Oatmeal is an extremely small operation so please be patient.
  More Shipping Info
  
  Questions about shirt sizes? Shirt Sizing Info

• Everything else

  Read this before emailing me

  • Direct order related questions to
  • Do not email me with grammatical errors or typos unless they are huge, glaring mistakes. When I say glaring, I mean writing something like "When fall arrives, I have to rape the leaves in the yard." I realize that a lot of people are judging my website rather harshly because I created a few comics about spelling and apostrophes and now expect everything on here to be grammatically perfect. Let me be the one to break it to you: my website is far from perfect, and I don't care.
  • Do not expect diplomacy. The Oatmeal is a one man operation, and this gives me the right to say horrible things to you if it pleases me. You may even have a valid point or fantastic insight, but this won't stop me from calling you horrible names and claiming to have spent an evening or two with your mother.
  • Do not suggest additional words to be added to my misspelling comic. Ten is enough.
  • Do not email me and say that I look like Dennis from It's always sunny in Philadelphia.
  • Do not email me to tell me why manhole covers are round. I know why they're round; I included the question because it's a good example of a brain teaser.
  • Do not read my comic on how to use a semicolon and then scour my website for places you think I should have used one.
  • Do not email me because you are offended by: my hooker comic, eating horses, abortion, how Twilight works, or my usage of the word retard.
  • Do remember that this site is for fun, and to not take it too seriously. If you don't understand satire don't email me.
  • Do not email me with suggestions for comics about things that bug you. Every human on earth who has ever had a gripe with anything has suggested I make a comic about it. For example: "Hey oats! You know when you brush your hair off ur forehead and it goes right back a second later, so you have to do it again? OMG i hate that!! Plz make a comic about it."
  • Lastly, my website gets millions of readers every month, so I get a shitload of email.
    I currently have close to 10,000 unread messages in my inbox so if you message me and I don't reply please understand that it's not because I'm mister fancy-pants-comic-artist-too-fancy-to-reply, it's simply because it got lost in the mix. Also if I actually replied to my email with the time and attention it deserved I'd have no time left to draw comics.

  Update: my email address is no longer publicly available on this site.

  If you have a question, comment, suggestion, or feedback for The Oatmeal, you're welcome to post it on my Facebook page.
  If this business related you can email my publicist: .

• Business Opportunities

  Please direct all licensing, publishing, advertising and other business related inquiries to my publicist